He’s Behind, What’s the Problem?
Why do we leave out catching up? I never here this brought up. Why does a child who is behind have to stay behind?
I want to share something that has been coming up in several of my recent sessions with children considered high functioning. This probably goes for all children who receive modified work and are working below their grade level. This is by no means a criticism of your child’s teacher, this is a system problem, as I see it. The system being, your child’s school system, your home system and how they support each other.
I am writing this article because I love to help people, especially when it can be done for free. I am also writing this to remind the reader, as I remind myself, that children can catch up, that they don’t have to stay behind. Are we stuck in an over-modification mode? We are stuck somehow, someway, and I hope this helps someone out there become unstuck in some way.
I continue to emphasize the home/school connection because there are simply things that can’t be done in school. The following steps are taken from my fifteen years of working with children on the spectrum, working with schools, and counseling parents. For anyone who doesn’t want to wait another minute to help their child, this should be helpful.
1. Meet with school and discuss that you want to help your child catch up. I have no idea of how receptive they will be, because I don’t know your school, but keep in mind, you can help your child no matter what.
2. Identify the core skills that you want to help your child with. We are focusing on fundamentals like reading, writing, spelling, and arithmetic.
3. Make a routine for spending time on these skills. It’s okay if something comes up and you have to change it one day, but have a general schedule to solidify your commitment.
4. Change the setting, from your typical homework routine. This will breathe life into the activity.
5. Use your child’s interests to create the activity or game.
6. Focus on understanding, this is helpful for all children, create a foundation for your child to build on.
7. Make it fun. This is your home! You can do things however you want! Have fun with this.
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Andrew:
Nicely stated. In our practice, we have decided that our only focus is the children catching up.
We see developmental disorders as simply a blockage in the normal developmental process. Our focus is on re-engaging that process and encouraging that process to catch up.
I wish that more was being done to achieve this. Your note is one of a few I have seen (other than my own) about having that focus.
I know that Greenspan’s Floortime is supposed to help the child move forward, but from my experience it is of limited value in getting the developmental process back on track. It might help a child move a little forward in the process.
Our approach is much more about discovering what has blocked the process and getting those things out of the child’s environment. Then, we step back and the developmental process naturally charges forward.
Thanks, what’s your website?
gotofocus.com tells much of what I was thinking about what we are doing from about 5 years ago.
I have been refining my understanding and I’m developing a plan that folks can do on their own at home. It is not yet fully written, but the starting page is at http://developmentalproblems.ikernels.com/solutions/ If folks want to talk with me about it, I’ll be happy to carry on a conversation through comments there.
Thanks for asking Andrew.
When our son was young we went through a very intensive program. They would remind us that each day he was not better he was further behind. It has stayed with me.
Teresa, thanks for sharing. How discouraging that must have been. I think, how you say things is as important as what you say.